An Open Letter to Euclid Hall

Dear Euclid Hall,

I want to love you.

Really, I do. Your older sisters, Rioja and Bistro Vendome have wowed me for years. Maybe I’m getting old (every year I get closer to 30) and it’s that I just don’t understand kids these days, but I fear that you and I will never be more than just friends.

There are many things I like about you–your nerd-porn menu complete with math jokes and Soapy Smith history, the fact that your tagline is “Crafted. Not cranked out,” your exquisite and impressive beer list, that your veggies are served in an adorable cast iron cauldron–but I don’t think we should push this relationship to the next level.

I’m sorry if what I’m about to say hurts your feelings, but believe me it hurts me more: I can only eat so much sausage.

There, I said it. And I know what you’ll say, that I love meats of all kinds, especially those in link form complete with casing, made in-house and all by hand, but what else can you offer me? I know, I’m selfish and you deserve more, and that’s why I have to set the boundaries now. Poutine may be a big hit for our neighbors to the north, but even Canadians must take a break from gravy fries every now and again.

I’m just at a really confusing time in my life, I guess, and I can’t handle our complicated potential relationship. I’m half southern; I love things that are battered and fried and covered in gravy. It’s in my DNA. But I only like you, I’ll never love you I’m afraid.

Please don’t hate me and let’s try not to make a big deal out of this, okay? I mean, we will still see each other around town now and again. You do have an amazing beer list after all and some other girl is going to take one look at you and your chicken and waffles and hand-ground mustards and be a smitten kitten. Just not me.

Euclid Hall is located in downtown Denver on Larimer Square at 1317 14th Street and is open for lunch Monday-Friday and dinner 7 days a week.

-by Leah M. Charney
Leah Charney, aka Belle von Bonaventure de Bacon, was born during a hurricane and has had a flair for the dramatic ever since. When she is not serving as Donnybrook’s resident cuisinier, she runs her own food site, Bacon & Other Bad Habits.

Published by The Donnybrook Writing Academy, August 2011.

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